Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:19:45 GMT

It's been a few days since I've written. I like to write it out instead of typing. Only sometimes though, I do like the quickness of typing compared with writing. My mind travels too fast to other thoughts for me to get write them down. I'm already sending out 2 b-day cards for my cousin Julie and my friend Anatalia who I've been friends with for over a year maybe two now. That's pretty great I'll have to tell her that.I know this journal is just for random ramblings and thoughts for the day. Yet I want to write about my food cravings. Ah well I'll not be lazy now and I'll write it later after I'm done with this. I have to stop procrastinating with the food journal. It was a progressive thing in the first few days and it's something worthwhile doing. Yet I haven't written anything in the last few days. I have to paint my nails, toenails, and put clear nail polish on them this time. Not just regular nail polish but also clear polish. I can be so lazy when it comes to taking care of myself. I shouldn't feel lazy or ashamed when it comes to being careful about my health and well- being. Oh God I'm so annoyingly conservative. At least just right now. I feel sleepy even though I had plenty of rest. I exercise and I still feel all muggy Plus I feel stressed and not normal. I just need to get a job and keep it for the summer. it's not hard to work all summer I've done it before. I know how it can get in the summer. I didn't have a bad time with putting aside my personal desires for summertime. I put EVERYTHING aside so I could focus on work and getting better at it everyday. I get so overly ambitious it's almost not normal. I'm ambitious when it comes to making and keeping money. I don't even like the word ambitious but I am. I need to be more up-and-at-em though. I have to practice taking more action and not thinking about everything. I used to do things so much more easily when I was really little. I wasn't anything like what I am now. I wish my young self would come to me in a dream with gifts of perspectives taht I had when I was a kid. Their going away now, and I feel like I'm drowning in the swirls of everything. I used to be so resilient and impatient just enough. Not impatient on the brink of being a brat, or spoiled, or trendy, etc. Just impatient for people and things to move, I wanted to keep learning and growing and progressing. I always thought people were so slow. Now I see they kind of were but only because they had been stuck into their daily ruts. Formed and shaped into their habits. Harmonized with whatever their lives were. I was always so restless and fickle and flighty. I had always wanted to change people I was smart enough to realize even just a small change would make a difference. Even that was better than no change at all. I was constantly changing my views, opinions, etc. Okay that's all I have for now I'm getting cramped from sitting and I need to stretch. My eyes are getting tired, I feel sleepy. I think it's from the chocolate I ate earlier. It's making me feel sick now. I'll just completely take chocolate and all sweet things out of my diet. That should work. Hmm I'm not as eloquent as I used to be. Ah well it'll come back again, I still have it in me.

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Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:24:59 GMT

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